RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.

Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.

Best file compression around: "DEL *.*" = 100% compression

COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN

<-------- The information went data way -------->

The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.

BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding

The name is Baud......, James Baud.

BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!

Access denied--Tough shit!

C:\> Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.

Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay...

Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"

As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)

Backups? We don' *NEED* no steenking backups.

E Pluribus Modem... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.

An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.

CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/N)?

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord.

24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence?

Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.

Windows: Just another pane in the glass.

SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .

Who's General Failure & whys he reading my disk?

Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.

Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...

All computers wait at the same speed.

DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors.

Press <CTRL>-<ALT>-<DEL> to continue ...

Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

Help! I'm modeming and can't hang up!!!

All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?

Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.

"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981

DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS

Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS

Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!

Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...

Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven.

REALITY.SYS corrupted: Reboot universe? (Y/N/Q)

Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)

Hit any user to continue.

9600 Baud makes you want to get out and push!!

I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!

Disk Full - Press F1 to belch.

Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (T)hrowup

Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic

Backup not found: (A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network?

Backup not found: (A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer?

If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.

Programmers don't die, they just GOSUB without RETURN.